Not the Best of Luck
by Shy Guy 32
Summary: Two level eights, going to Victoria Island. Too bad their fricking attitudes won't let them get a job. You're not gonna believe what they do to get one. T for cursing and soon to be violence. Chappie 3 up!
1. Okaaaay

Hi! It's- (guys panic and run)

Heh, nice time. I usually get to say "me" before they run out in a panic.

Anyway, this is a new story I've been writing. Tell me what you think of it! This is a little different than my other stories because it's not a direct parody, but otherwise I tried to put my usual into it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Maple Story. If I did, I'd be a level 95 DESTROYA. But there's no such thing. Too bad...

* * *

In Southperry, on Maple Island, if you go past all the pointless shops and sailors, you can find a flying ship: the SS Victoria. Its majestic sails, state-of-the-art propellers, and overall beauty can not only impress, but leave people awestruck, especially its takeoff from Maple Island. After all 20-30 passengers are on board, the SS Victoria lifts above the ground level, floats out 100-150 feet into the air, stays there for a few moments, and then drops straight down to Lith Harbor. Pretty damn cool if you're on it.

And that was what Steve was currently doing. Hurtling down a ship going 100-130 mph. Stuck to the ceiling 'cause seatbelts are for chumps. Yelling to the guy next to him, who happened to be his best friend Nick, "Did I tell you this was cool or what? If it wasn't being propelled up my throat I'd barf!"

Yeah, life can be pretty sweet.

Steve and Nick, two level eights, were heading out to Victoria to get their jobs. 'Cause nobody can resist holding a big-ass weapon and shoving it in people's faces.

They were currently almost about to land, the second-best part of the "flight." As the boat stopped short, the two were hurtled back to the mattress-covered ground. At this moment the two realized why the ground was colored green. They just helped to keep the color.

If you know what I mean.

As everyone was getting off, Nick and Steve turned to watch the takeoff back to their home, Maple Island. The ship, again, went out 100-150 feet into the sea, before shooting straight back up into the air.

"So, wanna get some jobs?" Steve asked Nick. Nick nodded in response, and they thus headed off.

"Where you wanna go? I'm thinking Perion. I can see myself in armor shoving a sword into some monster." Steve remarked.

Nick obviously couldn't. He just broke out into laughter, and rolled on the ground.

"Alright, I get it! You don't have to be so fucking mean about it!"

Nick didn't pay attention. He was currently going through some convulsions. Steven sighed and started dragging the now unconscious Nick behind him.

* * *

What do you think? I'm trying to make a Jay and Silent Bob kind of relationship (guess who's who). The actual plot is coming up starting next chapter. Read and Review, and don't flame. We're just heading into summer here.  



	2. A tree

Heeeeey! (guys try to run but are stopped by an invisible force field)  
Look what I got on Ebay. A force field that only cost me five bucks. I can't believe starting bid was $1.95

Anyway, here's chappie two, where the job-bashing actually begins!

Discaimer: I don't own Maple Story. Duh.

* * *

"So, where you want to go first?"

Steve and Nick were looking at a map of Victoria Island, seeing where they wanted to go. Nick looked and pointed at Henesys.

"So, you want to be an archer?"

Nick nodded, and started to head off towards the taxi. Steve followed, and both payed the discounted fare.

* * *

In Henesys, Steve and Nick went into the Mushroom Park. After walking for about five minutes in the same direction, they came to a huge tree, with a sign outside that said, "archer signup here." Both of them walked inside after wondering about the odd placement of a signup. Inside, the two saw Athena Pierce.

"Uh, is this the signup place for archers?" Steve asked.

"Yes, didn't you read the sign outside?" Athena responded.

"Just making sure. I've had some bad experiences with signs."

Flashback 

_Steve is walking along a road on Maple Island, when he sees a sign reading "Amherst this way." Steve goes into the portal-thingy, because he has yet to do Maria's quest, and ends up getting nearly mauled by an orange mushroom herd. Outside, two level nines take away the sign to reveal one saying "extreme danger: mushroom drives" and start laughing like crazy on the ground before getting trampled over by several snails and a regular mushroom._

End Flashback 

"Wow, that sucks." Athena said. "Well, anyway, do you want to be an archer?"

"Sure, me and my friend over here. Just one question: Why do you have signups in a tree? I mean, honestly, who's going to go inside a fucking TREE that might have hoards of termites?" Steve asked.

"…Shut up and get the hell out of my tree. You guys are NOT going to be archers." Athena replied.

"Hey! You're violating my right to free speech!"

"Wrong country."

Suddenly, a bunch of archers started coming out and firing at Steve and Nick, who dived out of the tree.

"Wow, good thing they didn't know that this place WAS termite-infested. Hey… maybe I should move the signups…." Athena pondered.

* * *

You like? R&R, and don't flame.

Anyway, I graduated Middle School into 9th grade yesterday! YAY!


	3. You know, that IS annoying

Hi- (RUN)

Wow, these guys have good reflexes. I wonder if they joined track or something. Well, better go fetch them.

Disclaimer: I don't own Maple Story, I never will. I only own my character (not seen in this story) and Nick (Steve is based after my friend). That's about it.

* * *

Moving right along… 

The guys were next going to Ellinia, to try their luck as magicians, and also to go in a counter-clockwise motion (Nick's idea). As they soon find out, fairies aren't the nicest people.

Arwen: Please help me find my glass shoe! PLEASE! Anyone!

Steve: Eh, we'll help.

Arwen: Hell no! You guys are humans. You couldn't even fight a snail!

Steve: Hey, do you want help finding your f--king slipper or not? Because if you keep acting like this, we'll find the damn thing and smash it against a tree or something so that you'll never get it. Ass.

Arwen: … Shut the f--k up.

Anyway, after falling from the trees once or twice (times a million), the dynamic duo finally get to the top of the tree, which can amazingly hold the weight of several houses, tons of people, and two cars. Apparently physics don't matter here. Might as well fall off a 15-story building and not only live, but also beat your own loogie.

In case anyone didn't know, that's kinda hard to do. With blood loss and all. Though that would be fun….

Anyway, Steve and Nick enter Grendel's place, where another sign saying "magician signups" is placed. As they entered, Steve again asks if the place was magician signups, this time relating to a different experience.

Flashback 

_Sign: Orange Mushrooms here, easy kill! These ones don't hurt you!_

_Steve walks into the portal, as he is doing Biggs' quest. He gets bum rushed by a rushing bum. The same level nines, now level ten, pull back the sign to reveal another one that reads "Warning: Now entering that place where rushing bums are. Most likely a Maple Island ripoff of Kerning. Now bugger off."_

_How a small sign with large text can hold that much text, the world will never know._

End Flashback 

Grendel the Really Old: Wow, that sucks. So, you want to be magicians, the two of you?

Steve: Wow, we didn't even say it, how'd you know?

Grendel: Uh, I'm the HEAD MAGICIAN. I used telepathy or something like that. Because I can.

Steve: You guessed, didn't you?

Grendel: … Shut up.

Steve: Anyway, I just have one question. You're supposed to be this great wiseman, right? Well, if you are, then a) why are you calling yourself really old? I mean, that sort of insinuates that you're having, like, Alzheimer's and arthritis and will probably seem to forget half the spells that you teach us. And b), why did you put your signups at the TOP OF THE F--ING TREE? We can't even climb up three branches before falling, and you place the signups at the top of, oh I don't know, 150 or so? You honestly couldn't have put it at the second or something? I mean, come on! We're not magicians or anything who can teleport to the top! Oh crap, I just realized the irony in that.

Grendel: Get the hell out of my tree.

Grendel does some cool explosion thingy, and the two are blasted to the bottom of the area. Nick notices the portal heading towards Perion is near the top, and points this out to Steve… literally.

Steve: F--k.

* * *

Did you like? R&R, please don't flame. It's hot enough already. Any flames I receive will be placed in the stock for winter.  



End file.
